Jennifer Lopez Smoulders For Complex Magazine's New Issue

J.Lo has covered the February/March issue of Complex Magazine. She talked about her strings of  divorces, how she's a romantic.

"Talking about self-esteem, when my first marriage didn’t work out, my second marriage didn’t work out, and I was with Marc [Anthony] and I was trying to make it work, and that didn’t work out, it was devastating. Each time I felt like such a failure, from what I’d been taught. Those are things that grate on your self-esteem. “OK, I failed. Why can’t I make this work?” But it forces you to look at yourself in the best way possible. I’m grateful for all those trials and tribulations because with that you gain perseverance and the desire to learn and grow. So I’m happy about those experiences now. They’re painful in the moment, but now I see myself as a brave warrior princess who keeps going no matter what, and who has learned to cherish the things that matter in life, which is finding my own happiness first and then being able to share that with not just people in my life but with the world."

Continue to see more photos + excepts from the interview at the flip...

As a mother and someone who's been through divorce, you have things in common with your character in The Boy Next Door. What was the biggest challenge with this role?

The role itself is just every woman. She's a relatable character. She's at a bad point in her life. Obviously, we've all had moments like that where our relationship is falling apart, you're at the verge of divorce, and your life is changing. And you're feeling vulnerable and unwanted and in need of some validation. I mean, it's always challenging, any role you take on. But it's funny, the [roles] that seem closest to you sometimes are more challenging, because it's not you.

From your book, it’s clear that divorce affected you deeply, especially because your parents stayed together through thick and thin for more than 30 years. For them, divorce was not an option.

They stayed together for a long time, and when they did divorce, it was shocking. But [that was] what we were taught: that you got married and stayed married. Talking about self-esteem, when my first marriage didn’t work out, my second marriage didn’t work out, and I was with Marc [Anthony] and I was trying to make it work, and that didn’t work out, it was devastating. Each time I felt like such a failure, from what I’d been taught. Those are things that grate on your self-esteem. “OK, I failed. Why can’t I make this work?” But it forces you to look at yourself in the best way possible. I’m grateful for all those trials and tribulations because with that you gain perseverance and the desire to learn and grow. So I’m happy about those experiences now. They’re painful in the moment, but now I see myself as a brave warrior princess who keeps going no matter what, and who has learned to cherish the things that matter in life, which is finding my own happiness first and then being able to share that with not just people in my life but with the world.

In a 2001 Chicago Tribune article, you said, “Deep down I am a romantic—and much more traditional than probably anybody would imagine. I believe in the whole fairy tale, and I’m not ashamed to say it.” Do you still feel that way?

Yeah. I’m still the same.

Doesn’t the notion that relationships should be like fairy tales with happily-ever-after endings mess people up?

Yeah, well, that’s what we’re taught when we’re little. Little girls are taught that especially. Prince Charming is gonna come along. You’re going to live happily ever after, and then that doesn’t happen. You have your first boyfriend in high school and that falls apart and you’re like, “What’s going on?” [Laughs.] All of these things get shattered one by one. It’s so unfair. Nobody teaches us the important thing from when we’re young, which is to value yourself and love yourself, and then you can share happiness and love with other people. That’s what we should be teaching kids, not fairy tales about Prince Charming rescuing you. Or that you have to be Prince Charming and rescue this girl. It’s funny, we’re formed from the time we’re 0 to 7. We’re battling the rest of our lives trying to figure that out. And now that I have my own kids, I think about that stuff a lot, like, what do I want to teach them? I want them to have fantasies and the fairy tales and all that, but at the same time I want them to know what is important, which is to have a great sense of self and to be good on their own.

The “boy next door” in the film is younger than you and you’ve dated younger guys in real life— 

Yeah, I’ve gone out with one younger guy. [Laughs.]

Sorry, just one. Do you think a relationship between an older woman and a younger man can work?

Is it possible for relationships to work when the guy is older than the girl?

Yes.

Well, then I would say yes. [Laughs.] What would be different?

The younger girl usually isn’t truly interested in the older guy, to be honest.

I guess it depends on the people and whether they have chemistry and if they have things in common.