Here are 5 secrets that could potentially destroy your marriage if you continue to keep them:
1. Your overspending habit
This is a sticky subject because we are already part of a culture that does not like to talk about money. So many married people are spending, mindlessly, and their spouse has no idea what is going on. To build generational wealth, there has to be open communication. Even if the money your are spending is money you earned through the work you do, there is a serious problem if you feel the need to keep your expenses a secret.
2. Unprocessed childhood pain.
I know that sharing every detail of
your childhood may be difficult and unnecessary, however, if something
happened to you years ago and the pain from it is still impacting your
life in a meaningful way, your spouse needs to know that. Knowing your
spouse is hurt and having no idea why can damage a marriage, because at
some point you start to wonder if you are the source of the pain, even
if that pain existed long before you came along.
3. Friendships you have.
If you have a friendship, whether
it’s with the same s*x or the opposite s*x, there is something strange
going on if that friendship needs to be a secret. Examine why you are
truly keeping it a secret and you are sure to reveal something with your
marriage that needs to be addressed.
4. Your vision for your life.
If you dream of a life that is
different than the one you are living, but you find yourself trying to
be content with what you have because having more seems unreasonable,
you have to talk to your spouse today. Nothing hurts a marriage more
than dying dreams and feelings of resentment. Keeping your personal
vision a secret will hurt in the long run.
5. What you do with your free time.
We are all entitled to free time.
Spending time separately is needed for any healthy relationship. However,
your time apart shouldn’t be spent doing things other than what you say
you’ll be doing. If your husband thinks you are out shopping with your
girls, you shouldn’t really be at a bar drinking by yourself. Or if your
wife thinks you went to a football game with your boys, you shouldn’t
really be at the casino gambling away your check. When you keep secrets
about your whereabouts, there are deeper personal and marital issues you
need to work though.
Being truthful all the time is hard stuff all the way, but keeping a ton of secrets is ultimately much harder.
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids
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