They really love taking picture...
the entire show picture:You want to show all your friends on
Facebook and Twitter that you were at the concert. Fine. Take a photo.
Take five if you want. But please, don’t take 1000! You always manage to
hold your camera right in my line of sight. You don’t even look like
you’re really enjoying the show while you’re doing this. All your attention is
on the pictures you are taking. And you know what? Those pictures are
all going to look like nonsense, every single one of them. You’re too
far away from the stage. You’ll probably never even look at them. Also,
you see those guys right in
front of the stage with the giant cameras?
They’re taking great professional pictures. There’s really no need for
yours.
2. Checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram every couple of
minute Unless you’re a surgeon who’s expecting an emergency call or
message, everything can wait. Live in the moment. Enjoy the show. You
paid gate fee to be here. You can tweet your friends when you get home.
Also, your fake China phone emits a very harsh and distracting light.
For the love of God, turn the damn thing off!
3. Incessantly talking to your friends:
You might not like whatever song is playing. You may be bored with the
show in general. You may have been dragged here by your boyfriend
against your will. But you’ve been talking all through the entire show,
and I can hear everything you are saying. It’s driving me crazy. Please
shut the hell up! I can’t tell you how many shows I attend where the
girls in front of me are yelling in each other’s ear the entire night.
Not only is my sightline blocked when their cheap wigs or weave-on come
together, but I can hear their gossip. Take your chit-chat to one of the
food vendor’s shed and stay there till the show is over, or go spread a
wrapper under that pawpaw tree and lie down and talk till morning. I
don’t care. Just shut up so I can enjoy the show.
4. Yelling out requests: ‘Yaaay, I want
Styl-plus to play “Imagine That”’. Hey girls, imagine if you shut up and
stop screaming in my ear; most of the time, the song list is
pre-determined, and they can’t even hear you from up there. They’re
going to play what they’re going to play. Just go along for the ride.
Damn it!
5. Yelling out the names of the artiste on stage: This is another level of irritation. This has never been funny. Maybe it was cool in the 80s. Now, it’s just madness.
6. Pushing your way to the front: If a concert
is general admission, the people in front earned their spots. They got
there early and laid claim to their space. The people all the way in
front might have even spent all day waiting by the doors, so when the
show begins and you shove your way to the front, you’re being a huge
distraction. Don’t do that. If you show up late and there’s only room in
the back, you’ve just have to deal with it.
7. Getting so drunk you puke: Girls these days
drink like sharks. You see them at Felaberation smoking igbo even more
than TerryG. I feel sorry for those who have to clean up the venue after
the concerts. I can imagine the types of vomit and stench they have to
clean up.
8. Loudly complaining after the show because the artiste didn’t play your favorite song:
This is actually one of the crazy things we see after each concert.
Babes, try to enjoy the show you’re getting as opposed to the one you
wish you were seeing. Besides, haven’t you heard “Kukere” and “Shoki”
enough?
9. Filming the entire show on your mobile phone:
This distracts people even worse than taking pictures, and usually
results in an equally horrid product. The sad irony is that people tend
to film their favourite songs, but the smiles on their faces are gone
when all their concentration goes into capturing these moments on film.
Next morning, Instagram will be cluttered with crappy cell phone videos
of every song from the concert. Stop tagging me to these crappy videos. I
was at the concert for Christ sake! You paid good money to see a show,
and you’re joylessly watching it through a tiny screen on your mobile
phone. It just doesn’t make any sense."
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