Reasons Why Wives Shouldn't Get Mad At Husbands

This gist has it that If you’re a wife who continually catches your husband viewing P0*n and wondering what you can do about it. Here are some things to consider that will hopefully help you understand why he views P0*n and put your mind at ease that it’s not your problem.
His brain works differently than yours

As a wife, you want to be the only one your husband thinks of sexually. So when you catch your husband viewing p****graphy (again) you can’t help but get upset and even feel betrayed that he would even think of another woman – especially sexually. He tells you it doesn’t mean anything to him because
you’re the one that he loves. But you can’t see how he could think of looking at another woman if he loves you. And he can’t see how you don’t understand why it means nothing to him. So you battle back and forth with no end in sight.

Well, it’s no wonder you don’ understand each other because women and men’s brains are wired differently. For one, men have higher testosterone which is the hormone of libido. And for another, men have a ‘s*xual pursuit’ portion of the brain that is 2.5 times larger than a woman’s. The combination of these two (among others) make for a cocktail of se*uality that is hard for you, as a woman, to understand his s*xual drive. He can’t help his s*xual thinking anymore than you can help your menstrual cycle. They’re both biologically instilled in humans as part of our gender for the sake of reproduction. Getting mad at him for thinking sexually would be like him gettng mad at you for ovulating – you both just can’t help it.
His p****graphy is not your problem

The good news is, the human brain changes a lot over time. And men’s brains become less sexually oriented as they age. Specifically, men report becoming more relationally oriented and more paternally oriented as well. In the meantime, while his brain develops, you’ll see a lot of sexually oriented behaviors (such as looking at other women, viewing p****graphy, etc.). But his brain is not your problem.

Read: 6 ways to protect your daughter from p****graphy’s least discussed tragedy

It’s his job to develop his s*xual libido and bring it within the realms of a loving, monogamous relationship. But it’ll be a struggle for him while he sorts it out. You can help him by being understanding and patient while he works through it – while still setting boundaries along the way.
Encourage, but don’t police

It’s also not your job to be the p****graphy police. Policing his internet use puts you in the position of being his parole officer instead of his wife. This not only creates problems of its own, but as a wife, you’re just not equipped with the resources and information you need to actually help him – aside from making him feel bad whenever he gets caught.

There are counseling classes, online forums and church groups that can help him as he seeks help to get his p****graphy viewing under control. This can be very liberating for you as you free yourself from the responsibility to help him stop viewing P0*nogrpahy. It also helps you heal as you free yourself from the disappointment, embarassment, and guilt you feel every time you catch him viewing p****graphy.

While you can (and should) continue to set boundaries around his p****graphy viewing remember, it’s his responsibility, not yours. And it’s his brain that he has to master. You can’t do it for him.