Sugar Mummies (File photo used only for illustrative purpose)
The latest gist as along major streets, on pavements beside the roads, on pedestrian
bridges, and on notices posted on buildings and walls around the
metropolis, there is almost always a note asking you to call a
particular number or visit a website should you need a “sugar mummy”.
Report has it that even though initial information gathered by Saturday Tribune
identified Ebute Metta and Gbagada as the major hubs for the business,
residents in those areas who were contacted last week said they were not
aware.
“I have lived in this area (Ebute Metta) for more than twenty years now,” said Thomas Nwike who owns a fashion shop close to Alagomeji. “I
know there are sugar mummies everywhere in Lagos; but I don’t think
that this place is their headquarters or anything like that.”
Covert affair
It is not often possible to reach a sugar mummy directly, as many
of them are represented by “agents.” It is the responsibility of these
agents to “screen” prospective “sugar boys” and present them to the
women.
According to findings by Saturday Tribune, the boys are expected to
be handsome, reliable, trustworthy, and “durable” in bed. The more
influential women prefer university students or recent graduates who are
unemployed.
The sugar boy’s fee is negotiable. Where the sugar mummy takes
extra interest in him, she usually “buys” him off, by paying a large sum
of money to the agent. For one-offs, however, payment is made per
night, and it ranges from N80, 000 to N180, 000, depending on the status
of the sugar mummy and the “quality” of the sugar boy.
Organised fraud
Our investigation, however, shows that this “venture” has been
infiltrated by a large network of fake agents who, on a daily basis, con
unsuspecting “sugar boys” out of thousands of money.
Most of these agents are active on the internet, where several
websites are dedicated entirely for this purpose. Indeed, information
gleaned from a number of general dating websites showed that requests
for sugar mummies and sugar boys are dominant.
For example, on adsafrica.com.ng, as of midday on Thursday, the
category “Women Looking for Men in Lagos” had 1,344 requests, while “Men
Looking for Women in Lagos” had only 667.
To understand better how this business operates, Saturday Tribune,
posing as a prospective customer, contacted one of the agents and
requested help to meet a sugar mummy.
The first agent who identified herself as Mrs Ruth spoke briskly, above what sounded like generator sounds in the background.
After she had determined that the person on the phone was
unemployed, young, handsome, educated, and could last a minimum of four
hours in bed, she said: “I will get you a sugar mummy. She is a fine
woman who is very rich. You will like her. Just send me N500 recharge
card. I will use it to call her and arrange for the two of you to meet.
The money you will get from her is N80 000, per night. After this call,
send me a text message. Include your name, age, location, and the
recharge card I told you about. I will call you after I have talked with
the madam, ok?”
When she did not immediately receive the text message she had asked
for, she called, and when she was told the whole plan was still being
considered, she lost her cool.
“You’re not serious. You think I have your time, abi? Nonsense-man!”
A second agent whose mobile number appeared up to eight different
times on a website identified himself as Mr Mark. Most of the questions
he asked were similar to those asked by Ruth. But when Saturday Tribune
observed that N500 was too much for him to use to set up the meeting, he
brought it down to N400.
“You see, I want to help you,” he said. “You said
you’re not employed, and I just want to help you. Just send the recharge
card. Then send your full name, location and the hotel where you want
to meet your sugar mummy. I will call her and you can meet her, even
tomorrow. She will pay you N180,000 for the night, and you can pay us
N40, 000 from it.”
Mr Mark seemed the better choice; and so, the recharge card and all
the information he requested were promptly sent to him. Two minutes
after, he called back, and sounded quite pleased.
“I got your text message,” he said. “Thanks. But there
is a form you have to fill. It’s eight thousand naira only. I will send
you my account number. If you can pay early tomorrow, I will meet you
at 12pm at the hotel with the form. The sugar mummy will be there too.
She is a rich woman; just tell her what you want; don’t be afraid; she
will help you. She has companies, and since you said you’re a graduate,
she can even help you get a job.”
Asked if it would be possible to pay him upon receipt of the N180, 000, he said, “No,
this N8,000 must be paid before you meet her. It is for your form. The
sugar mummy will bring the form to the hotel for you to fill. But
because I know you are not employed, I can take N5,000 from you and I
will use my N3,000 to complete it for you.”
There were several contradictions in his story. At a point he said
the form would be brought to the hotel by him; at another he said it
would be brought by the sugar mummy herself. Meanwhile, his text message
which arrived minutes later read: “Maneger details: Uzoya, XXX acc 0049288XXX. XXX Bank plc.”
Strangely, it did not contain the name “Mark.” Even more puzzling, a
caller-identity application (Truecaller) identified the owner of Mark’s
mobile number as “XXX Adebayo”.
When he was never contacted again nor paid the agreed sum, he
continued to call throughout the day. When, however, he was finally
contacted later in the day on Thursday and confronted with all the
conflicting facts, he flared up:
“I was just trying to help you, and you are talking rubbish.
You have to be a man… you have to be a man… What are you talking…? You
have to be a man…” He spoke mostly the same words for a long time, repeating “You have to be a man” many times.
Caring mothers
There is, it would seem, a variant of this practice which,
observers say, is beginning to gain ground in parts of Lagos and beyond.
Mr Kola Aderibigbe, an engineer who lives at Ogba, Lagos, on Wednesday,
told Saturday Tribune that this type (called “caring mother”) revolves
around a woman whose husband has abandoned “because she is richer and arrogant”.
“In a way, their husbands have set them free,” Aderibigbe explained. “It
may be because she is proud, or because she is running after other men,
or so many other reasons. So what the woman does is to find a young man
who will move in with her. The man plays the role of father to the
woman’s children, while the woman takes care of him financially.”
New world order?
Observers might say that there is something disconcerting about
this turn of events. Has the growing influence of women in politics,
business and other fields wrought a situation where men have become more
willing to sacrifice their traditional position as the “dominant s*x”?
However, Joshua Omidire, who recently completed a postgraduate
programme in English at the University of Lagos, attributed this shift
to the economic situation in the country.
“We all know that the boy has no need for enjoyment of sex with
those older women; his girlfriend will give him that. What is important
is money. So, unemployment is one of the factors that lead these young
guys into it. Young guys actually wake up in the morning and go to their
place of work which is a sugar mummy’s apartment.
“What is the shame when you can’t feed your belly and an older
woman offers you sexual pleasure and money? People don’t write it on
their foreheads. Many of the big boys in town are sex slaves of sugar
mummies.”
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Culled from Nigerian Tribune
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